Dark Blue - 深蓝の魂 by 珊


Chapter 32
Looking in on her through the glass windows, Mike stood solemnly still, lost in a daze as he watched her work. Just as his day began, all he could do was thinks of her. Despite the strange feelings of his past experience and what he knew about her, he still remembered that it was all an illusion.

He stood in front of the person who changed him. She was so close to him, but so far out of reach. Would she ever give him a chance to obtain what they’d shared in his illusory mental image? Engraved in his mind, he knew it was just an impracticable past.

As the person who was with her, her patient, walked out of the contemptibly unimportant space, he put Ji Yun and all thoughts behind him and made his way across the street.

Li Ann stacked away her previous patient’s files before taking a deep breath and checked her watch. It had been only her first patient of the day, and already she was starting to stress out. She opened the desk drawer and began searching for a pen to write a report with when the bell attached to her door rang.

His blood circulated quicker than usual as he entered and looked around, acting as if he hadn’t been there the day before. She looked up and knitted her eyebrows at him. A moment later, she remembered him as the man from the day before. What was he doing back here?

“Hi, can I help you?” she asked. Mike closed the door and walked into the space where she had a few chairs for waiting patients to sit.

“Yes, I need somebody to talk to,” Mike replied, not knowing what else he could say.

“Mr. Lee, I already told you I-”

“I’m not here to ask you to have coffee with me or anything. I’m just looking for a psychologist and well, your brother said you’re the best in town.”

He tossed in a smile to bring in a natural conclusion.

“He did?” Li Ann raised an eyebrow in question. Mike nodded quickly.

“All right,” Li Ann sighed. “Do you need me to go over with you the details of my weekly sessions or coverage for a reasonable amount of time?”

Mike shook his head. “Your brother has already told me enough.”

Still not fully believing that her brother would care so much to let a “close” friend know about her occupation, she pulled out a clipboard and picked up her pen.

“Follow me,” she smiled. She would give it a try since she didn’t have any other patients soon.

Mike sat down on a long couch while Li Ann sat across from him, slipping on her glasses as she cleared her throat. Mike waited patiently for her to begin.

“Mr. Lee,” Li Ann started.

“Mike. Call me Mike,” he asked politely.

“Okay, Mike.” She felt awkward. “Why don’t you give me the reason why you’re in need of therapy?”

“I...I start first?” Mike asked, uncertainty filling his thoughts.

“Yes,” Li Ann confirmed.

“Well, first reason is that I don’t want to go to work,” Mike replied, debating to himself if that was the initial or second reason. “And second is to get away from my wife.”

“Mr. Lee, I would ask that you be serious on this. This is costing you a lot of money you know,” Li Ann calmly told him.

Mike managed a slight laugh. “Okay, I’ll be serious.”

“Go on,” she continued.

“Two weeks ago, I got into an accident.”

“What kind of accident?”

“The brakes on my car didn’t work, so I ran over a bridge and landed in a stream. My head had a pretty bad concussion and I went into a coma, for two weeks. I just woke up three days ago, and now I’m here.”

She stopped writing for a second, then glanced up at him. Was he trying to ridicule her?

“Is that all?”

“During my coma, I had a dream. I must’ve dreamt every night during my coma, because I counted near 14 days of being in my dream.”

“And what was your dream about?” she was beginning to grow interested in his story.

“I died.”

He stopped there, waiting for her reaction. Of course there was none, but only a mere surprised look on her face. He continued.

“I was a ghost. I saw my destiny for once, and also the person who caused my death. It was like watching a movie of my afterlife.”

Li Ann had stopped writing now, and was listening intently to his story. Not only the way he told it amused her - it was how his dream differed from the usual mind tricks her other patients would tell her about.

“And who was that?”

“My wife,” Mike responded bitterly. She noticed the ring he wore yesterday was now gone.

“You don’t have to believe me, Dr. Kim, but I have a question for you.”

“Yes?” Li Ann wasn’t expecting one. At least not yet.

“Can you see ghosts?”

Li Ann went blank for a second. What did he mean by that? A small smile broke out on her face as she thought he was only joking, but the man’s still face remained.

“No, Mr. Lee. I can’t. I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

“Are you sure? I believe you can.”

They continued their conversation, but it drifted off the topic of Mike’s reason to be there. It was on blameless topics that he brought up to avoid talking about what really happened in his dream. He didn’t want to scare her off, or reveal too much for her to take in all at once. He didn’t really know why he was there either, but he thought he wanted to see her.

Li Ann was beginning to agree to herself that he didn’t really need the help, but was just there to waste her time. Nonetheless, she treated him as she would any of her patients. The reason she didn’t ask for his personal information when he first came was because she predicted he wouldn’t stay as a patient very long. Not somebody who didn’t seem to have different views of the world.

“Mike, that’ll conclude our session for today. I take that you will come back for weekly visits?” It had been a full hour since they began talking.

“If I have to,” Mike replied, standing up after her. She seemed in such a hurry to get rid of him. Was she nervous?

She walked over to her desk and handed him a form. Mike looked over it and filled it out quickly. After signing his name on the bottom, he gladly handed it over to her. His cell phone rang.

After a few seconds of talking on the phone with Junjin, who had been wondering where he went all morning and afternoon, he was ready to leave. Turning around to say goodbye to her, Mike exited the little office. As he walked towards his car, he thought to himself of how cruel fate had decided to play him. So she didn’t remember anything at all, because it never happened.

But everything between him and Ji Yun did.

-

Casting himself away from the crowd, Hwanhee hid himself behind a row of tall bushes as Eric, followed by a few officers walked into the airport. They obviously weren’t looking for only him, but he knew he would easily get caught if he went in. Deciding it was too much of a risky chance, he whistled to the nearest taxi.

The taxi stopped in front of him and he tossed in his suitcase, half full of money and the other his personal items. He ordered the driver to head to the nearest train station - one which happened to be across town.

-

Ji Yun knew he would be home in less than an hour. Her fingers trembled as she stiffly held the small white package of poison. Contemplating to herself all day about what she would do, she had thought of really killing him after all. She looked over to the pot of soup she’d made earlier on the stove and pondered. Gripping the bag of drugs, she walked over and opened the lid to the pot. The soup was still hot.

It was now or never.

Ji Yun quickly emptied the contents of the bag into the soup. She bit her lips as fresh tears stung her eyes. He wanted to divorce her. She wouldn’t take that as an answer. Never before in her life had anybody rejected her, not even Hwanhee. She wasn’t going to let Mike go that easily.

Ji Yun made sure she didn’t pour the entire thing into the soup. She unknowingly didn’t want the poison to work, thinking that maybe if she poured only half, it wouldn’t harm him. But feeling foolish enough, she changed her mind and made sure all she had left was just the little bag in her hands.

She watched the white powdery drug sink slowly into the thick soup. Her heart sank with it. She would have to watch him die...

Balling her hand into a fist, she spread it back out and looked at the ring on her finger. It glittered from the translucent light above her. He was so happy when he placed that ring on her finger.

Closing her eyes, she tried to remember the past - before she had met him, and when she had just first gone out with him. Their first date, first kiss, and how sweet he was. She was secretly happy with him for a while. Though she knew it, she hid it from Hwanhee, for he expected her to finish her job.

Muttering a curse to herself, she took hold of the handles of the pot and poured out the soup into the sink. She couldn’t do it.

All Mike had ever wanted was to make her happy. Even if she wanted him for only his money, she couldn’t kill him. But what if he divorced her? Where would she go?

Her phone rang disturbingly, causing her to drop the entire pot into the sink. Wiping her hands on a rag, she quickly walked over to pick it up.

“Hello?” Her voice was a mere whisper.

“Ji Yun? Where’s Mike?” Hwanhee’s gruff voice seemed to be in a hurry.

“Still at work. Why?” Ji Yun began to worry about what Hwanhee was going to do.

“When’s he coming home?” Hwanhee’s question sounded like an angry demand.

“Soon.” Ji Yun managed to keep her voice steady.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Why? What are you going to do? Hwanhee?” Ji Yun began to panic.

“Undelivered gift to Mike. We’ll finish the job today.”

He hung up.

Ji Yun glanced around the room and searched for the clock. She didn’t have the car to go find Mike, wherever he was. Hwanhee was coming to kill him, causing all calm feelings to leave Ji Yun. What was she going to do?

Devastated and out of a way to go, she did the only thing she could think of. She found her purse and fumbled around for the second bag of white powder poison.

Dark Blue - 深蓝の魂 by 珊


Chapter 31

Once again, the Autumn sky darkened and prepared for evening to arrive. Half of the parking lot remained deserted, and sitting alone far off from the office doors was Mike’s new car. He’d set to work the next day after returning from the hospital.

He’d pondered the previous night mostly about Ji Yun. What if she really was the person he thought her to be? What if she was not? He didn’t know the source for his behavior around her, but something changed him from that coma. He wondered to himself for hours, trying not to fall asleep as his workers lingered in the doorway, waiting for his answer for their jobs to be conducted.

Though he may not remember dreaming, the paper flower that stood for him at home had burned and turned to ashes long ago. Perhaps history may take its turn on him, he did not know. Life wasn’t the same as it was before. Such a sudden rush of painful memories occupied him for more than half the afternoon. He felt betrayed, lost, and even yet, envious.

Pushing the glass doors open, Mike stepped out of the corporation with Junjin by his side, still trying to stack the papers in his hand neatly into a t manila folder. Junjin bid him goodbye, then walked the other way.

He changed the song playing from his CD player as he exited off the highway, down a small street, then turned the corner to a part of town he’d hardly visit. Mike didn’t know what he was doing there, but in truth, he knew he was there to see somebody, still unsure if that one person existed.

He stopped the car and parked on the side of the busy walkway, slightly occupied by the people walking by. In the little crack of two large buildings stood a small one, looking tight of space. There was only one glass door with writings painted over it. He walked up to it and read the name of the doctor there. It wasn’t her name, but he went in anyway.

Mike entered the small but clean office area. Nearby the window was a comfortable chair and across from it was a couch. A coffee table stood in the middle, and on the walls were decorated with pictures of waterfalls and moons.

“We’re closing,” a quiet voice called out from nearby. He turned his attention to where it came from. A woman behind the desk who was picking up scattered pencils, hastily tried to hurry in order to talk to him. Mike walked in closer, afraid to speak. A nervous feeling rushed through him. What if it was her? Would she know him?

The girl stood up, brushed her hair aside and took a deep breath. Mike stood there, a bit taken back that it was actually Li Ann. Although her hair was a bit shorter, and her complexion lighter, she was Li Ann. She placed the pencils in a cup back on her desk, straightened her shirt and smiled at him with a sigh.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” She looked at him with wondering eyes, innocence covering her like powder.

He couldn’t think of what to say. “Li Ann...”

She thought she didn’t hear him correctly. “What? You know my name?”

So it was so. She didn’t remember him, or didn’t know at all. “I...I know your brother, Dongwan,” Mike lied quickly. She smiled with a nod and walked around the desk.

“Li Ann–...”

“Dr. Kim,” she corrected, hoping he’d understand. “My patients call me Dr. Kim.”

He stepped back, hoping she wouldn’t feel offended. After all, if she didn’t know him, it would have to be a new start for him. It would be an awkward one, but at least he had a second chance to be with her.

“But I’m not your patient,” Mike managed to reply easily. She stopped what she was doing and took a second long look at him. Something about the way he looked at her made her wonder if she’d met him somewhere before. Surely she hadn’t. The man was smart to answer.

“Right . . . so what can I help you with, Mr.?...”

“Mike. Lee Mike.” Mike stuck out his hand to shake hers. She took his hand, a firm grip, and shook it.

“Are you here to schedule for an appointment?” Li Ann broke the silence between them.

“Ah, no. Actually, I came to see you,” he replied. She broke into a slow amused smile. Something about him felt comforting, like meeting an old friend of some sort. He had charms to his mysterious presence. He was rather attractive in her opinion.

“Well, you’re a little late Mr. Lee. I’m closing in two minutes.” She walked back to her desk and began packing her things into a small briefcase to store away.

“Would you like to...I don’t know, get a coffee before you go home or something?” Mike asked, stuttering through a bit, yet eager to still talk with her.

She laughed. “That’s very nice of you, but I can’t.”

“You’re married?” Mike asked, a bit surprised by her answer.

“No, but you are.” She glanced at the ring on his finger. Mike quickly took notice of the ring still around his finger. Of course, he was so thoughtless. Muttering a curse to himself, he looked at her again and thought of what to say.

“This–...” Mike opened his mouth to protest. “This, well, I am, but...”

“If you don’t mind Mr. Lee, I’ll have to be going now,” Li Ann said as she picked up her handbag. Knowing it would soon be dark, and she was in a hurry to leave, he decided to go.

“Nice meeting you, Li Ann. Maybe some other time?” Mike began walking towards the door.

“Sure,” she nodded. “Maybe some other time.”

.................

“So what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know. We were unlucky the first time. I don’t suppose we should try again. The risk is too high.”

“Then what am I gonna do? You can’t just leave me with him!” Bitterness flowed from her words, yet she was in a desperate state.

“I don’t know anymore. One of the guys said the cops are on the lookout for me, so I can’t stay here any longer. I’m gonna get away.”

“But what am I gonna do?!”

“I don’t know. You...you’re on your own. I mean, you couldn’t kill him, and you won’t do it again, so you’re on your own baby.”

“Hwanhee! I can’t believe you...”

“Look, we were very close to killing him, but fate wasn’t on our side this time. Unless you want to come along with me, you’re going to be on your own.”

“What? I’m not going to move? I have a good life here. Mike loves me very much, I...I don’t think we should...let’s just quit while nobody knows.” She took a deep sigh.

“He loves you? Ha! Come on Ji Yun, how stupid could you be. You married him for his money. We made this deal together and you’re going to stop?”

“Hwanhee, the cops already have evidence that somebody tried to kill him, so I’m not going to risk my chances for it. Either way, I’m bound to get what I want.”

“So you’re not coming?”

“Hwanhee...”

“No?”

“No.”

Without a goodbye, he hung up. Ji Yun fiddled with the phone as she started trembling. She didn’t know what else to do. Her secret companion had left her, but to a man of purpose, somebody who could actually give her what she wanted. Maybe killing Mike in the first place was not meant to be. She is married to him, so what could be better to her benefit?

Over and over again, she told herself it would be okay. As long as Mike didn’t know, she would pretend it never happened and stay with him. He did love her after all, even though she had loved Hwanhee instead of him.

She walked away from the phone and listened to the silent house. Only the dim lights from the kitchen bar were turned on. She walked towards it, then around to the other side where the drawers were located. She pulled a drawer out, then picked up Hwanhee’s gold watch.

With a last glance at the prized possession in her hands, she tossed it to the trash can. Losing Hwanhee wouldn’t be a big deal. Being with him for three years, and he couldn’t give her what she wanted. Mike, in contrast, gave her everything she wanted. He was rich, young, and powerful. She was sure she had him wrapped around her finger when she married him. Now she just had to make sure he would fall again.

Ji Yun jumped in surprise as Mike opened the door. Rain pounded on the doorstep outside as he shook the remnants off his jacket and hair. He tossed his keys to the lamp table and took off his jacket, then pulled down his tie knot. Ji Yun faked a smile as she walked over to him. Mike looked stressed and worn out, yet in a bad mood.

“Hi honey, are you hungry?”

He didn’t answer as he remitted to the couch. Ji Yun sensed his relentless attitude, but she still continued to question him. Mike slumped down on the couch, surrounded by misery and darkness. Ji Yun sat down next to him, being extra close so she could whisper to him.

“Why don’t we take a vacation? Huh?”

Mike turned over to face her. Her delicate expression mirrored back, and the angelic smile once again danced across her face. Though she had herself covered by her questioning looks, the devious cast in her eyes gave her away. She was no more than an imaginary life he once held.

“Are you okay, Mike?” Ji Yun asked, her voice becoming softer and quieter. She knew not to disturb his mood. She had to learn a lot of new things now.

“Tell me a story,” he said, his voice demanding in a sharp tone.

She leaned out of his view, her eyebrows questioning his request. “A story?”

“You don’t know one?” Mike asked. She dumbly shook her head.

“There was this man. He married this woman he thought he loved, but it was heartbreaking when he found out she was the one to kill him. He died and tumbled into a world that was falling apart. When he discovered why she did what she did, it was too late for him. It was so unfair, despite how hard he tried to say it wasn’t her.” Mike turned to face her again until they were eye to eye.

“As far as he went without turning back, he couldn’t. Now Ji Yun, tell me, why would a wife try to kill her husband, or even lie to him in the first place, to trick him into marrying her while she loved somebody else? You tell me.”

Ji Yun swallowed, but her throat went dry. Her conscious kicked in quickly, reminding her of her little scheme. She looked away, breaking eye contact as she pulled her hand away from his.

“What are you talking about Mike? Why such a...story?”

Mike didn’t take his eyes off her. The shadow in his face seemed to take over as he stood up, brushing her hand off his arm.

“Because it’s true.” He bent over the coffee table and pulled out some documents from his folder. Throwing them to her, he walked away.

Ji Yun looked at the header on the documents, neatly stapled together. Her eyes grew worried as she glanced toward Mike, who was now upstairs.

“Divorce papers?”